Bizarre Baby.

I'm in the labour room, doctors and nurses rushing about in emergency, the tiny baby is crying, barely audible. Nobody is speaking to me, I haven't a clue what is going on, or if this baby, no bigger than the palm of my hand, will survive, or even if i care at all.

Sharpness in my arm, then the nurse telling me it'll all be ok, just to sleep.

I'm at home, this tiny intruder, helpless and painfully under-developed, is swallowed up by it's miniature cot. It's huge eyes stare, unable to focus, but aware of my presence, it squeaks and whimpers for attention.

I pick her up, she lays in the palm of my hand like a child's rag doll, but the weight of her is surprising, so heavy i nearly drop her. I take her in both hands, and her nappy is so full it slips down her legs and onto the floor, the contents spilling everywhere. I'm amazed at where it all came from.

I call out for a little help, and my sister appears in the doorway, "Here", she says, "Let me take her, You clean up". Confused, and a little disgruntled, i attend to the problem, still wondering how on earth this baby is mine, and what I am going to do!

Panicked screaming rings in my ears, "The baby! The baby!, She's not breathing!", I tear into the other room where my sister is shaking the baby, in a desperate attempt to revive her. "No,no,no!", I'm screaming, "Not like that!". I take the baby, I try to administer mouth to mouth, covering her nose and mouth with my mouth, breathing gently, willing her on.

Grey, her eyes bulging, she lay motionless, her tiny body, skin and bone. I am relieved, for her and for myself. I know she was in pain, i know she wasn't meant to be. I shed a single tear.

She fades away from my vision, gradually like a distant cloud dispersing, then she's gone.

My sister is no longer by my side, was she ever there at all?